Oh yes. Oh yes. If there’s one dish that squicks out vegan folks, vegetarians, and even some fellow bloodmouths, it’s the blue steak. But having your steak blue is to me the most visceral and, well, realest, way of eating steak.
Yeah, apologies for crap lighting and all that. And apologies for crap chips as well - I was working late, and didn’t have any proper chips in and all the shops were shut. (Oh, how I suffer for my art.) Anyhow. This is the dish. Blue steak is an utter doddle to do but you have to learn how to do it properly. Basically, you start by getting a really nice chunk o’ beef. Fillet is best. Sirloin less so, rump if you absolutely must, but hamburger is best avoided (as will be explained below).
It works on the principle that only the exposed surface area of beef generally attracts bacteria. So, you get your pan nice and hot, heating the butter till it is spitting. Leave your steak to breathe for a while beforehand, of course, and rub salt and/or pepper into it. Then bung in your mushrooms and/or onions and/or anything else you want to go with it. Finally, re-brando the pan with additional butter if you need to, then throw in your chunk o’ meat. Press it down on both sides until they’re properly seared, then ensure you roll the edges, if necessary, round in the hot melted butter to seal them as well. The whole process should take about 3-4 minutes. Note that it looks brown and cooked on the outside but the inside is pretty much as red as when it came out the arse end of the abattoir.
The effect you should be aiming for is basically that you’ve done little more than wipe the cow’s arse and taken its horns out, or that a defibrillator judiciously applied would bring it mooing back to life.
I suppose there’s only one musical accompaniment to this dinner, and that’s “Carnivore" by Carnivore. Which is not actually about eating steak so much as, well, muff diving, but who cares, it’s an epic song anyhow!!!!